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Aphrodisiacs: Appeal to All Five Senses
Author: Michael Castleman, M.A.
Mention "aphrodisiacs" and most people think only of herbs or drugs, but that view is as limited as the missionary position. "The most neglected ingredient of great sex is the backdrop," says sexual medicine specialist Theresa Crenshaw, M.D., author of The Alchemy of Love and Lust (Putnam, 1996) and co-author (with James Goldberg, Ph.D.) of Sexual Pharmacology (Norton, 1996). "When lovemaking becomes routine, the stimulating physical setting is usually the first thing to go. Instead of a deep-pile carpet by a roaring fire in a ski chalet with a magnificent view, it's a dark bedroom on musty sheets when you're both exhausted. For ordinary sex to become great sex, the setting is crucial. Appeal to your senses. Arouse all five of them." Sight: Candles, Lingerie, Videos. One reason so many people are in the dark about great sex is that they make love with the lights off. Try candles. They illuminate lovemaking with a shimmering, romantic glow. Letting a little love light shine allows you to see your lover in all of the person's sexy glory. That's a sensual gift. Speaking of gifts, when you receive one, opening the wrapping is half the fun. The same goes for sex. Dressing up in sensual outfits, then slowly undressing each other turns ordinary lovemaking into a gift-wrapped surprise. "Unfortunately," says Amy Levinson, product manager of the Xandria Collection catalog of sensual enhancements, "most men think that sexy clothing means teddies and skimpy underwear. Not many women have bodies that look good in those items and even if they do, skimpy lingerie just doesn't appeal to some women. Instead of feeling sexy, they feel self-conscious and turned off." Levinson says that visual sexiness has less to do with what's revealed all at once than with what's hidden and then slowly revealed. "We sell teddies and other skimpy lingerie," Levinson says, "but in my experience, most women feel sexier in full-coverage silk or satin robes that allow their charms to be revealed slowly, inch by arousing inch." That's why the Xandria Collection Lingerie Catalog features intimate fashions for all shapes and sizes. The glow from a TV screen can also spice up sex, especially if the program you watch features couples enthusiastically coupling. Many sex therapists recommend x-rated videos as visual aphrodisiacs. Most men need little convincing. But many women consider traditional male-oriented pornography demeaning. Some years ago, one former porn starlet, Candida Royalle, launched Femme Productions to produce x-rated video aimed specifically at women. Other producers have followed. Their videos feature plenty of "hardcore action," but the characters also have loving relationships and some emotional complexity. According to two recent studies, these woman-oriented videos are a major turn-on for women. Donald Mosher, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at the University of Connecticut in Storrs and Paula MacIan showed 395 college students (200 men, 195 women) one of six x-rated videos -- three traditional male-oriented tapes and three woman-oriented programs. Most men said they found both types of videos equally arousing. However, the women clearly preferred the woman-oriented programs. Compared with women who watched traditional pornography, those who viewed the Femme videos reported considerably more intercourse afterward. In a similar study at the University of Amsterdam in the Netherlands, Ellen Laan and colleagues surveyed 47 women psychology undergraduates' reactions to traditional pornography and woman-oriented videos. But this study delved deeper, as it were, into the participants' sexuality. In addition to filling out a survey, the women were also fitted with tampon-like devices that measured vaginal engorgement, an indication of sexual arousal. In the survey arm of the study, the women greatly preferred the woman-oriented programs calling them much more arousing. Unexpectedly, however, both types of x-rated videos elicited similar vaginal reactions, suggesting that feelings of sexual arousal are more subjective than objective. Both of these studies suggest that to sexually excite women, woman-oriented videos are the way to go. The Xandria Collection features several in this category -- videos by Deborah Shames ("Cabin Fever," "The Voyeur" and "The Hottest Bid") andrew Blake ("Captured Beauty," "Les Femmes Erotique" and "Hidden Obsessions") and Michael Ninn ("Decadence" and "Diva"). Xandria also offers sensual, instructional videos designed to teach sexual techniques in a delightfully erotic manner. Sound: Music. Nothing complements the sound of heavy breathing better than your favorite tunes. And if your bedroom walls are thin, cranking up the volume can mask love's little noises and help you feel more comfortable whooping it up. The Xandria Collection Alternatives in Audio catalog offers several CDs and cassettes that can give you an erotic earful. For example, "Afro-Desia" and "The Mona Lisa Series." Touch: A hot bath or shower. "Every square inch of the body is a sensual playground," sex therapist Louanne Cole says. "It's sad that so many lovers, especially men, explore only a few corners." To discover the sensuality of the whole body, try a hot bath or shower together using a fragrant herbal soap. Bathing is a wonderfully arousing prelude to lovemaking. The warmth relaxes muscles made tense by the daily grind. And soaping and drying each other can be a marvelous whole body turn-on. For extra enjoyment, dry off with warm towels. Before you get into the water, drape your towels over a radiator or pop them into the dryer so they'll be warm when you use them. Sharing massages is another way to get literally in touch with a lover. Massage is an intimate conversation without words. Simply pour some massage lotion on your hands and stroke your honey's hands, arms, legs, feet and everything else. The Xandria Collection offers dozens of massage products: lotions, lubricants, massager-vibrators and toys like the Love Glove. And speaking of touch, let's not forget the delightfully erotic sensations that vibrators, dildos and other sex toys help create. Xandria customers who page through the catalog together often say that just shopping for sex toys can be a major turn-on. Buying some and using them works even better. Smell: Scent-ual Aromatherapy. What's the aroma of lust? According to Alan Hirsch, M.D., neurologic director of the Smell and Taste Research Foundation in Chicago, it's the familiar spice cinnamon. Hirsch fitted male medical students' penises with gauges that detected erection and then exposed them to dozens of fragrances. The only one that got a rise was the smell of hot cinnamon buns. But other aromas can also add sensuality to sex. Try scented candles on your night table, a bouquet of flowers, a fragrant herbal potpourri or a new perfume. Several companies have recently released fragrances containing pheromones -- chemicals that play a powerful role in animal sexuality and may pique sexual attraction between humans. The keyword here is "may." Studies to date are "intriguing but not persuasive," says Dr. Crenshaw, whose personal experiments with pheromone fragrances have produced "nothing noticeable." But if you'd like to try a pheromone fragrance, the most widely available human pheromone products are sold under the brand name Realm at Bloomingdale's, Macy's, Neiman Marcus and other department stores. Taste: Fine food. If you doubt that food can enhance sex, rent the video of Nine and A Half Weeks, (with Mickey Rourke and Kim Bassinger) and fast-forward to the refrigerator scene. Fine food and the conversation that goes along with it can be a wonderful form of foreplay that makes what happens after dessert taste even more delicious. Just go easy on the alcohol (see sidebar: "Beware the Sex Killers). Aroused By Intimacy. Okay, so you've got a roaring fire in the hearth, soft music on the stereo, Realm perfume dabbed on, cinammon-scented candles burning, a pot of ginseng tea, a sexy video on the VCR, the Sensual Lovers Vibrator Kit open and ready and a plate of oysters ringed by chocolate kisses on the coffee table. Now what? Your author wholeheartedly recommends boardgames produced by Barbara and Michael Jonas' company, Time for Two of San Francisco. Xandria offers two of them: "Sexsational" and "Two to Tango." They are wonderful aphrodisiacs-in-a-box. The Jonas' career in sensual games for couples began in 1979, ironically, with a marital tiff. As a kiss-and-make-up offering, Barbara developed the prototype of their first game, "An Enchanted Evening." They had a wonderfully erotic interlude playing it and friends encouraged them to market it commercially. "An Enchanted Evening" became a success and led them to develop their other games. The Jonas' games are all different, but each involves some statements and some actions. Statements have to do with what you admire, enjoy or find sexy in your lover. Actions take the statements and run with them -- usually right into bed. The games encourage the kind of playful touch and supportive communication many couples stop sharing after a while. And they show a profound understanding of how intimacy and sexual desire go hand in hand. They do, indeed. Take it from your author, you won't finish "Sexational," "Two to Tango," or a similar game from another creator, "Foreplaying Cards." The intimacy they enhance becomes an irresistible aphrodisiac within a half-dozen moves. Which just goes to show that the world's greatest sex stimulant is that crazy, wonderful emotion called love. Without love's special magic, sexual enhancements fall flat. But for couples who share that intimate, chemical bond, aphrodisiacs, defined broadly, can transform lovemaking from "eh" to ecstatic. Check out the collection.

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